SO I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR MONTHS TRYING TO ACCURATELY DIPECT MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ON THIS SUBJECT SO RIA HERE YOU GO!!!!
I really realized that I am perfectly fine with being single......
If you would’ve known me about five years ago, the above statement would have been like foreign language to me. Being without a boyfriend was absolutely unheard of in my book. I desired and felt like I needed to be in a relationship. From about the age of 16 until 27, I thought that being single was the worst. I suffered from the complex of always needing to be emotionally attached to a man. If I wasn’t in a relationship I was definitely searching my next boyfriend. I feared being alone, and for the most part I was. I’ll admit, during that time I seriously thought something was wrong with me because I seemed to stay in the “being single” department technically. I mean I had a fling or two here and there but I engaged in these fly by night situations in hopes of them flourishing into a relationship. I was a mess, not just emotionally but mentally too. I suffered from believing in the false advertisement that the way to complete happiness and being a complete person was only through being in a relationship.
When did being single become a curse? When did being alone become a bad thing? It seems that we’ve been force fed the concept that being single is a death sentence, that our lives aren’t complete if we aren’t in a relationship. There is so much emphasis and focus on being in a relationship that many of us have forgotten the beauty in being single. That was a lesson that I had to learn. Being single is not a bad thing at all. It’s a gift to be single not a curse, and I’m not saying that being in a relationship is a curse and not a gift. They are both gifts but one must come before the other. In our single-ness we are granted this beautiful opportunity to discover who we are, what we want and what we need of ourselves before we can begin to look for the qualities that we want and need in a man. Being single also presents a great opportunity to establish our value and our worth. So with just those few benefits, and there are many more, I’m trying to figure out what is so wrong with taking the opportunity to enjoy being single? I thought that is what we are supposed to do. Besides how in the world can someone else enjoy our company if we can’t even enjoy it when we are by ourselves?
Relationships happen in their own time, something that I’ve come to learn and respect; and its something that is needed to be learned and respected by everyone. We shouldn’t be interested in jumping into a relationship because of our fear of being alone or just for the “benefits” they are supposed to afford us; a showering of materialistic things, superficial love and only physical connection. We should want more than that. We should need more than that and settling for less just for the sake of having a relationship shouldn’t be an option for any of us. I know what I like, what I want, what I need and the kind of character I’m looking for in a man. I know the kind of relationship I desire, want and need with him; and when everything is in alignment, opportunity will present itself. But first before I could even get that far, I had to become completely comfortable with being single and learning all that I needed and wanted to know about myself in order to make me a complete individual.
